Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Meddlesome Tyrants

This past Sunday morning I was checking out my groceries at a nearby Walmart. The clerk pulled aside a bottle of wine I had intended to purchase and consume, saying she couldn’t sell such merchandise before noon. I looked at my watch. It was 10:45. I joked that walking outside with that bottle of wine before the designated “legal” hour would most certainly cause the heavens to collapse, society to degenerate into total chaos, and inspire mothers to start eating their babies. The drive home found me pondering the nature of such trivial, nonsensical regulations and the boorish, childish minds that create such crap.

So often we take for granted these state-induced inconveniences and dismiss them as part of life, just bothersome annoyances that are a “normal” part of existence. But sometimes it’s good for free individuals to actually read in black and white, word for word, the ridiculous rules shoved down our throats by the fascist, control-freak, ruling class- all designed to make our lives miserable and to provide them the perverted sense of power all sociopaths crave.

Thanks to a couple kind, lady bureaucrats at the City of Plano, I was directed to this statement emanating from the Powers-That-Be that work and reside in that dome-shaped dung heap in Austin:

Sec. 105.04. HOURS OF SALE: WINE AND BEER RETAILER. The hours of sale and delivery for alcoholic beverages sold under a wine and beer retailer's permit or a wine and beer retailer's off-premise permit are the same as those prescribed for the sale of beer under Section 105.05 of this code, except that no sale shall be allowed between 2 a.m. and noon on Sunday.

Sec. 105.05. HOURS OF SALE: BEER. (a) No person may sell, offer for sale, or deliver beer at any time not permitted by this section.

(b) A person may sell, offer for sale, or deliver beer between 7 a.m. and midnight on any day except Sunday. On Sunday he may sell beer between midnight and 1:00 a.m. and between noon and midnight, except that permittees or licensees authorized to sell for on-premise consumption may sell beer between 10:00 a.m. and noon if the beer is served to a customer during the service of food to the customer.

The above edict originates from a slimy document known as the “Texas Alcoholic Beverage Code.” I can only surmise the motivation for creating such arbitrary restrictions on people conducting a peaceful commercial transaction between two consenting parties- religious fanaticism, puritanical meddling, anti-alcohol authoritarianism, or the mistaken belief that such restrictions will prevent problems associated with irresponsible drinking. The latter, of course, is somehow particularly egregious when it occurs on this specific day known as “Sunday.” All these lobbying groups have the ear of that criminal gang known as “government.” These mob-elected banditos are only too eager to find even more ways to extend their power and tighten their demonic grip on free living individuals.

The “legal” hours of purchase are completely arbitrary, of course. No evidence or resultant reasoning can be offered for their existence. Those who claim to rule you declare these time boundaries not only accurate but necessary to maintain societal order. No evidence of such claims is required. Pleas from the human livestock for justifying such restrictions upon their freedom will be ignored. The all-knowing potentates have spoken.

My response: FUCK ‘EM!

Resistance is Mandatory

No rulers
No masters


Anonymous said...

Hahahah! I used to live in Texas. In fact I spent half my life there. On one of my journeys back I decided to buy a six of brewskis late in the evening at your local Wally World mega store. I entered the line ten minutes to 12 and by the time the sloths had made it to me the magic hour had crossed and that six was no longer "legal".

The woman refused to sell it to me and I said "So you're telling me that I'm less likely to get drunk five minute before twelve and not five after?" What lunacy! And on top of that is the mandatory ID check. What the hell?! I'm nearly fifty and they can't tell? I there again said "So why not make it mandatory to bring in your birth certificate". She failed to see the humor in it.

I swear! Texas is more screwed up than I imagined. They love to brag and boast about how independent and free spirited they are but the fact remains they're more fascist than they'd probably care to admit.

I've once lived in Japan for several years where they sell beer with whiskey chasers from vending machines on the street corner. Did I see rampant alcoholism and people falling over? Nope! And no demands for licenses and other slave mongering demands. The absurdities within this so-called "free" country never cease to astound me.

Enlightened Rogue said...

I should add that I returned the next day to purchase that bottle of wine. The lady cashier must have been well into her 70’s. She had me show her my ID. I’m 57.