What will the sheeple do on this day when:
- Fireworks are outlawed completely because they disturb the birds?
- Beer is outlawed to expand the profitable War on Some Drugs to include hops and malted barley?
- Outdoor barbecues are prohibited because they contribute to global warming?
Oh well, they'll still have their goofy parades to waste away their holiday hours. No, wait- parades will also be forbidden when it is determined that such events can be gathering places for subversives and child molesters!