Your Government Cares About ‘Customer Service’

Recently, I purchased a new desktop computer. The machine came with some RSS feeds already programmed from a couple sources, including USA.gov.

Immediately, I decided to delete such a useless source but then changed my mind. Here, I thought, is a possible humorous and ongoing source of blog material. I didn’t have to wait long to find out I was correct.

I received a message directed at government employees about the importance of “customer service in government.” When following the link I found this gem:

“Great customer service happens when you exceed expectations – and expectations are higher than ever. People want to interact with government on their own terms. They want instant, accurate, easy-to-understand information, delivered via their channel of choice.

To deliver great customer service, government agencies must understand the needs of their customers, and adapt to improve the way those needs are met.”

This is a laughable concept, of course, since the government does not have customers, but instead has subjects. “Customer service” is directed toward those who voluntarily interact with an enterprise to purchase a needed product or service. A subject is coerced to interact with the government to locate a needed product or service that the government has a self-made monopoly on providing. The subject has no choice as there are no other legal alternatives to locate his needed product or service.

And just what “service” will the government’s subject be seeking? Apparently, it’s information. The government has loads of information to offer the individual subject. The possible fact that there may be little or no need for this “information” seems a moot point.

“Often, the government is the single source for certain information – so the public has no other option if agencies don’t provide satisfactory service. Some might say this lack of competition results in lackluster service, when in fact, it should engender exactly the opposite reaction. Agencies have a responsibility to the public to deliver great service, especially when there is no other option for help.”

Have you ever seen an enterprise with a monopoly provide “great service” when the “customer” has no other option?

And just what information would the individual subject be seeking? More than likely it would be related to proper procedures to follow in paying tribute (taxes and fees) to your state masters, as well as proper methods to follow when seeking permission for any of the myriad of personal activities the state claims to regulate and control.  In other words, information necessary to prevent thugs with guns from caging you, killing you, or appropriating your property because you didn't obediently follow state directives.

Yes, you are oppressed, spied on, abused, taxed to death, harassed, and suffer state micromanagement of every facet of your retched life. But it’s comforting to know your masters aim to provide good “customer service” while tightening your chains, stifling your freedom, plundering your property, and stealing your soul.