Thursday, August 4, 2016

The Market Helps Stupid People, Too

People who have never lived in or have never even been to Texas during the summer may be excused for not knowing that it gets hot. However, people who live here have no such excuse. Residents not aware of such meteorological realities are nitwits, rightfully judged as criminally stupid.

Apparently, many humans have become so domesticated and coddled in their climate controlled existence, they neglect to pay attention to such realities and remain blissfully unaware of the possible consequences of that neglect.

I laugh every time I see the media publish warnings called “Heat Advisories,” warning the clueless and unaware that yes, it is summertime and yes, it will be hot today. Heat advisories can be seen as a market reaction to the reality that there are people stupidly unaware of summer heat.

A recent market reaction to human stupidity is to a increasingly common occurrence of people forgetting they have young children in the backseat of their automobiles. They hurry into the house or elsewhere and become distracted enough that they neglect to take the child out of their oven-like automobile and their child dies! The media continually warns about such neglectful behavior but such fatal incidents occur on a regular basis every summer.

Yes, such dolts not only need to be reminded that it is indeed hot outside, but apparently need to be reminded that yes, they have a child and yes, this child needs to be removed from the vehicle when it is parked. And it needs to be removed immediately to not risk the child suffering and dying from heat exhaustion!

These irresponsible dopes now have a technological savior (courtesy of the market) to increase the survival chances of their offspring and help pass on their inferior genetic information. GMC has developed sensors that are built into its Acadia model:

“Once you open and close the rear door placing your child in the back seat, a sensor inside of the car detects that the child is inside. When you turn on the vehicle, drive off, arrive to your destination, and turn the car off, an alert appears on the dashboard. The message ‘rear seat reminder’ flashes on the dashboard along with an alarm.”

Salvation! Once again, people must be dependent on technology to remind them to do what a disciplined chimpanzee should be able to remember. Expect such sensors to become more prevalent in other car models and eventually (unfortunately) become Regime- required, standard equipment on all models. So your next new car purchase will no doubt become even costlier. Consider it a kind of tax increase to protect stupid people.

It has been my theory for some time that people, in general are becoming increasingly stupid. And I don’t think it’s just because of the increasing prevalence of 24/7, ubiquitous media reporting such events. People seem to be reaching ever greater heights of stupidity. And I don’t mean just unwise or irresponsible behavior most anyone is guilty of at some time or another. I mean acute, barren-brained, record breaking stupid!

For about the last ten years, it has become common for people to enter a freeway, driving in the wrong direction and not become aware they are doing it until, of course, they crash head first into another, unfortunate vehicle. Such collisions are usually fatal. Even large, multiple “Wrong Way” signs on the ramps don’t seem to prevent the inevitable disaster.

Perhaps some genius in the market will come up with a solution to prevent such events. Perhaps still another sensor will be developed to electronically slap the driver in the face, pointing out his idiocy and the impending catastrophe.

Whether it is desirable that stupid people be protected from themselves is debatable. What isn’t debatable is that it is certainly desirable that the rest of us be protected from them.

Resistance is Mandatory
No rulers

  No masters


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