Thanks to the keen eye and the tireless, comprehensive, investigative work of the Pot-Bellied Pedophiles of the TSA, I can now identify the terrorist threat amongst us. And here I thought this threat was merely a ploy by the government to encourage me to willingly give up my liberties for security. It’s truly amazing that these characters have been around me all this time but I did not recognize them for the dire threat that they are. What an ingenuous disguise- murdering, freedom-hating, fanatical, evil doers look just like bright-eyed, cute, innocent little girls! How deceived I have been! I now feel utterly embarrassed and certainly incompetent to protect myself. Thank God for our Protectors in Blue Gloves!
The problem is, I see these individuals seemingly everywhere. I’ve recently noticed they tend to naturally aggregate near elementary schools. Perhaps that is their cover. Diabolical! I’m betting these so-called "schools" are actually terrorist sleeper cells where these terror babies are created! See something ! Say something! See something ! Say something!
In the future I will now willingly have my genitals molested by my much loved protectors and never hesitate to have my butt cheeks grabbed, caressed and probed by these bold, brave public servants. My anal cavity will always be welcome to their loving, caring inspection.
Thank you, TSA, for showing what real patriotism is. Congratulations, TSA, for proving your worthiness to those who scoff and demean you and challenge your effectiveness. Perhaps your detractors have now been proven to love terrorism and should be encouraged or even forced to move to North Korea! Make sure they’re on the next flight out!
Resistance is Mandatory