Rest Easy- The War Criminal is Safe

US nationalists are resting easy in Dallas today after reading of the overnight incident near the residence of brutal war criminal, George W. Bush. It appears a drunken holiday reveler was too enthusiastic in showing off his classic automobile and promptly crashed it into someone’s yard. Some reports says the yard was Bush’s, some say a neighbor’s- the discrepancy to confuse potential terrrrrists, no doubt. We all sighed in relief after being confidently notified by authorities that Bush and his wife are “OK.”

When Bush first moved to this address in a heavily populated area in the heart of north Dallas, I was kind of surprised. Considering his unpopularity, wouldn’t he feel safer, I reasoned, in a more remote and rural area? Then I realized that Bush has adopted a popular protection tactic practiced by his hated “evil doers.” Just as a desperate Iraqi or Afghan insurgent has been known to use human shields to protect himself from enemy fire, Bush has situated himself among a dense, civilian population. Any troubles that find him now become his neighbor’s, as well. I guess The Shrub is more clever than I give him credit for.

We peons are already suffering the economic disruption caused in great part by his massive, expensive, and unending wars of aggression and occupation. Now we get to look forward to sharing in any trouble that comes his way in retirement. So nice of him to share.