Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Newspapers Are Doomed

You know newspapers are doomed when they insist on publishing “stories” such as this, warning people to drink water when it’s hot or face the consequences. I am so thankful to be informed about this substance called "water" and its relation to hot weather. What a revelation! I'll have to check it out!

It's a good thing I came across this article or I may very well have died before the end of the weekend. I can't wait for the follow up telling us we should eat food when we are hungry!

The reporter’s response to my criticism was classic- “If it saves just one life, it’s worth it!” Her editor even got in on the act and declared her story a “public service.” If that’s true, it gives you an idea about the state of the public, does it not?

This pathetic article helps confirm my observation that most newspapers these days target an audience with the intellect and reading comprehension of an 11 year old- slightly above the target audience of that boobus monstrosity called "television."

Mainstream newspaper readership is steadily declining. I sense their desperation by their staff’s hysterical comments. Their publication will soon be bankrupt, along with many others. Their declining audience is most represented by the educated, who also tend to have the most money to spend, which is what attracts their advertisers, whose money ultimately pays the reporter's salary. The only audience they'll have left will be the boobs who don't know to drink water when they're thirsty.

There's always a chance Obama (or whoever the Head Gangster happens to be in DC) will bail them out. But that will only piss off their remaining audience of boobs, who are still smart enough to understand that government bailouts are blatant thievery. Then who will be left to read their rag? The people who don't have the sense to keep from drowning by looking up at the rain?

2 comments:

Don Emmerich said...

Good stuff, Roger. And of course I share your excitement; each time I hear that another newspaper is closing shop, I can't help but smile. Another way in which the internet is changing the world for the better. Now if we could just do something about all those filthy cable news networks.

Enlightened Rogue said...

My advice on how to deal with the cable news networks is to ignore and don’t watch them. I highly recommend that people at least cut the cable if they don’t want to give up TV altogether. Use the money to get a fat subscription to Netflix. You can then rent the 3-4% of the programming that is actually worth watching. Or use the money to get a faster internet connection. There’s more and more internet-only TV news worth watching.

I recall a couple years ago eating breakfast in a motel dining room. My back was to the TV that was on. I began to notice really strange chattering from the actors on the TV. I thought it must be some kind of cartoon or comedy satire program. I turned around and discovered that it was a talking heads program on Fox News! People pay for this crap?